What About Rush?
Well, well, well! What a day it's been - and we're just
getting started. Had a number of emails forwarded to
me in regard to yesterday's newsletter entitled, "Whose
Afraid of the Big, Bad (Pig)?"
A couple themes that were played over and over:
The first was that by calling Michael Moore a pig I have
inadvertantly done an injustice to pigs and other critters.
After much reflection, I'm inclined to agree. So my sincere
apologies are now extended to pigs of all shapes, sizes
Funny, last night I tuned into O'Reilly on Fox News. Haven't
watched the O-man in quite a while - and must say I was a
tad disappointed that he didn't go off on anyone. However,
toward the end of the show he gave the latest poll results
regarding whether or not he should invite Michael Moore on
the show. A whopping 60% of respondents said "yes." Let's hope
Moore will go on.
Speaking of O'Reilly - another interesting theme that arose
from yesterday's email was this: Several readers felt my
"blast" of Moore was politically motivated. Actually, I thought
it had more to do with him being a Hollywood celeb who didn't
make the cover of National Enquirer despite an obvious eating
disorder. The "sexist" N.E. "only" portrayed women on the cover -
some rail thin, others rotund. Shame on them.
Anyway, those who thought my "attack" was politically motivated
Requested that in fairness to both parties, I should give equal
time to bashing Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Dick Cheney and other
"slobs" from the right.
Well, excuse me, but last time I checked on Rush, he had dropped
a ton of weight. Perhaps he's gained it back. Can't say I know. But
even at his fattest, Rush didn't come close to Michael Moore. And
O'Reilly or Dick Cheney - my goodness - you'd need both of them
to fit inside Moore's jeans - a scary sight.
At any rate, if I ever feel the need to lampoon political figures who
are overweight slobs, I will do so, and make a note: It doesn't matter
to me whether they are from the right or from the left.
Moore, to me at least, is NOT a political figure. That would give him
too much credit. He's an overweight Hollywood dork with arrested development pretending to be a political figure. France would be a good place for him
to live. Siberia would be infinitely better though, as at least all his blubber would serve some sort of function other than masking his emotional baggage.
Okay, on to number three. ONE person, a woman, took offense to the
newsletter on Wednesday, in which I said that Moore isn't "technically
speaking" a woman. What on earth did I mean by this?
Well, the answer is quite simple and has nothing to do with sexism or
an argument regarding which sex is better than the other. For the record,
after seeing my wife give birth to our second child three weeks ago, a
girl, I must say that I may be physically stronger than my wife - but
nothing I have EVER done compares to the pain threshold she went through
to deliver our baby girl. Not only that, but I will most certainly NOT hold my
daughter back when it comes to her own growth. She will be given the same help that I give my son - if not more, as she's already got me wrapped around the ole
Okay then, so what did I mean by "technically speaking" not a woman? Well,
the answer is simple if you look at things from a hormonal level. Any anti-aging
physician worth his salt could simply look at Moore's body (through his clothes) and tell you the following:
1. He ain't producing much GH (growth hormone).
2. He's not producing much (if any) testosterone.
3. Because he's not producing much (if any) testosterone,
his body IS producing a ton of estrogen and cortisol.
4. Other than eating, he probably doesn't do any exercise.
5. Chances are excellent that the majority of food he eats
is starchy low-fat carbohydrates, which are proven to make
men like him FAT.
6. If he's not already a diagnosed diabetic, he probably
And so, from a purely biological standpoint, Moore's body is
NOT masculine. This doesn't mean that women look like Moore.
God help us. It does mean that Moore's body is biologically
confused. It's supposed to be manly, but it's not. His pecs
are turning into rather plump and jiggly breasts.
Believe me, I love breasts - just not on a man.
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All of this boils down to the perfect line Dr. Al Sears uses in
the copy promoting his newsletter, Health Confidential for
Men - "For the last 30 years, the modern world has tried to
turn you into a woman ... and you don't even know it!"
Bottom line: Men should be proud of being men and should
do all they can to "technically speaking" - remain men. Women
should be proud of being women and should also do all they can
to be "women." Nothing sexist about this at all.
But .... uh-oh - I 'spose some transexual is going to write and
Complain now. Oh well.
Speaking of trannys, one lady wrote to ask me if I was a
"homophobe." She says, "Most tough guys are."
Didn't know that. Just didn't know that. Too funny.
Last of all, I salute all the World War II veterans who are being
honored tomorrow with the opening of their very own memorial.
Without your efforts we wouldn't have the life we do today. We owe
you an enormous amount of gratitude.
Well, my friend, that's if for now.
Kick Butt - Take Names!
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